superlegend

i miss my nanay like crazy.
i'm seriously crying.
i wish i never took her for granted
everyone probably thinks i'm annoying
considering my nanay is still alive.
but its not easy to stay in touch.
i HATE talking through the phone.
the personal connection is lost through wires.
you can't see their reaction and it can never replace human contact.
laughs are filtered, mumbles are jumbled up. its not the same.
letters don't do very good if your grandmother has weak bones.

can everyone take advantage of the time they have with their grandmother? please.

i'm trying to find the picture i took of the last time i saw her (8th grade).
and i can't find it anywhere, i hate myself. honestly. how can i lose something like that?!
i wish she stayed for my graduation, i wish i took better care of her when she was here
i wish i was better company to her. i wish i was a better everything.
i'm an asshole and i know it.

as time goes on the memories fade and i suddently forgot important details about her.
what are her favorite cookies? whats her favorite ice cream? does she like ice cream?
the little shit i do know about her, i make sure i remember because i force myself so hard to liek it too.
reds her favorite color, reds my favorite color. she likes family fued i like family feud. she likes family matters i like family matters. she likes maury i like maury. she likes the green ponds face lotion after showering, i do too. she likes saying 'you're not the father' during maury, i do too. she likes sleeping on the side closest to the wall/window, me too. she likes swiffering, me too. she likes dalat, i love dalat. she likes watching cops before she sleeps, i like watching cops before i sleep. she likes going to sleep with the tv on, me too. she likes the cops theme song, me too. she likes cheap things and cheap places like ross, me too. she likes wearing that yellow sweater with the buttons going diagnoally across the left shoulder, me too. she likes wearing tights, me too. she likes dying her hair, me too. she likes going to church, me too. she likes being religious, me too. she likes jewelry, me too. she likes bags, me too. she likes the purple olay body lotion that makes her skin sparkly, me too. she likes chicheron with vinigar, me too. she likes those little crackeres that come in twos with the little snowman things on em, me too. she likes painting her nails, me too. she likes lipstick, i'm trying to. she specifically has a bag for church, i'm getting there. she likes cooking, i'm getting there. i strive to be a mini her, i want to be just like her. when she left in the THIRD grade she traumatized me. /; gahd. i hate when i cry so hard i can't see or breathe. gay nigger shit.

ilavamygrandmothermorethananythingelseonthisearth.