i read FML everyday, it makes me extremely paranoid
Today, I was presenting a powerpoint. As I plugged in the cord that connected my computer to the projector, I had forgotten what my boyfriend had set my desktop picture to the night before. I opened my laptop and projected on the wall was me nude. I go to Catholic school. FML
Today, I decided to brush up on my flirting skills and ask a guy I thought was kind of cute what time it was. He pointed to the very visible watch on my wrist and said "You should know already". FML
Today, I was interviewing a cute guy for my journalism class, and he asked to borrow my laptop to check his email quickly. After the interview, I realized that the last thing I had searched for on my browser's Google box was "ingrown pubic hairs," and it was still up there. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML
Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML
anyone i can have a 'me too' moment with. anyone whose sentences i can complete. anyone that texts me goodmorning/goodnight. anyone that gives me unique compliments. anyone that can teach me how to read. anyone that'll feed me. anyone that'll hold my hand while they're nice&sweaty. anyone i can sit in a car with&just listen to horribly amazing music with. anyone that completes me.
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