xxplosive

i'm a fucking dumbass & i can't take it anymore. i have a 2.2 gpa. yeah, its possible. AND I GO TO CLASS EVERYDAY. yep. i'm tizzight. 2 D-'s & 3 C's TIGHTTTTT. i'm fucking college bound.

so, deficiencies came out today... or my mom got mine today my fucked up memory completely forgot about it ); and she got it & shes not letting me out wednesday (1145 dismissal) or the weekend (3 day weekend + trina's) GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY. gahd damnit. i need to fucking motivate myself. i needa actually do my fucking homework

everything is putting me in a bad mood. i just wanted to be happy, but i'm forcing myself to be upset. my life is so fucking simple, i have every opportunity + everything i can ever want

happiness = goodgrades = mama happy = papa happy = $$$ = going out = drinking/smoking = nnz = (: (: (; = generous = other people happy = me happier = easier to sleep = more sleep = less pimples = (:(:(;

SO FUCKING SIMPLEEEEEEEEEEE. but no i have to fuck it up.
bad grades = mamaupset&dada in vietnam = broke = not going out = no drinking/smoking = no nnz = ): = hating everything = bad mood rubbing on everyone else = stressing me out = can't sleep = more pimples = grumpy in the morning = waking up late = rushing to school = forgetting notebooks at home = lower grades = depressed = lack of motivation since i'm so stupid = lower grades = wanting to smizzoke = bad spiral downfall.

so let me fucking simplify this shit. i'm gunna get good grades & get rid of anything that'll fuck me up (goingout&everything that goes along with that)

FUCK I'M MISSING GOOD ASS SHIT THIS WEEKEND TOO.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

i'm fucking pathetic. i wrote alla this instead of doing bible as lit. fuckit. thats what lunch is for right? ohh i forgot to add

depressed = eat more = fatter AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
save me someone.