everyone looks good from here

WHAT THE FUCK, really?! really!? this has been the shittiest week of like .. the past four months.
-STILL not fucking done with drivers ed , REALLY?! realllyyy?! i'm on chapter 15/22? i'm never going to drive at this fucking snail pace.
-firedrill or .. real thing? i don't even know. its a fucking half day if someone pulled that shit i will fucking eat your babies. it was fucking raining and now i'm sick & my feet were freezing in my flats & i wore a thin ass cardigan. OMG & one of the fucking staff was yelling STOP EVERYONE STOP in the mainstairway when the ringin stopped. wtf?! are you fucking serious? if this is a real fire you are trapping everyone , everyoneee. then outside FUCKING OUTSIDE. hella muddy and shit. HAYLAH muddy. it got me thinking though. fire alarm systems should have arrows. how do i know which way to go you know? theres a possibility i'm walking towards the fire. hahaha. is this a stupid thought? i don't give a fuck.
-i didn't go out today minus my HPV shot & bjz / newpark.
-i suppose i do go out a lot cause now that i'm not out i'm mad
-i uploaded HAYLAH pictures on myspace cause i'm so bored
-nnz didn't go through so i'm disappointed
-i lost $20 somewhere
-my eyebrows STILL need waxing
-failed sheets test, like 20% failed
-60% on c0ulings test
-stressed the fuck out about grades
-creeper is being a fucking bitch! get off my shit nigga!
-people are getting my texts hella late - sorry if i wake you
-i have a huge pimple on my nose thats not going away
-my feet are really cold and i'm wearing socks
-i miss papa, a lot a lot
-my nails keep breaking
-it doesn't feel like its almost chistmas
-i lost all my best guy friends / drove them away / avoid them
-i'm always MIA towards hamburgers which makes me sad
-i never talk to josh or marc anymore
-i lost contact with my cousins
-i'm gaining weight
-everyone hates me
-i enjoy walking alone (WTF?!)
-i ripped my contacts & now i'm fucked
-i planned saturday, then it got canceled , now its back on?
-i was looking forward to today since sunday, now its canceled?!
-i'm looking forward to friday, if it doesn't happen all hell will break loose
-i have a 2 1/2 day thanksgiving vacation when everyone has a week
-my right ear's 2nd piercing keeps bleeding, infection?
-i feel heartbroken, by someone i don't love .. anymore?

eye yi yiiii. ASHLEY BULAYO where are you? i have so much shit to sayyyy. /; /; /; blogging doesn't help me anymore cause the shit on my mind gives me the heebeegeebees and i don't have enough balls to tell the people its concerning. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ashleybulayo, can you call me please.

AND i fucking forgot what erik's laugh sounds like /; how can it be that you used to talk to someone on the phone everyday for like a year & then you forget what their voice/laugh sounds like. oh &i cried during a not supz sad episode of scrubs yesterday. can someone make me cry really hard? this is bugging me.

NO ONE FUCKING UNDERSTANDS & ITS DRIVING ME NUTS. its like when you describe something HILARIOUS that happened & people kinda half ass laugh but you know they have no idea why they are laughing. i feel like that, just everyday of my life. OR NO its like hearing someone else' inside jokes & you just laugh to laugh. bingo. thats how i feel. everyone always wants to say YEAH I FEEL YOU, but i know they have no idea how i feel.

this is enough, i'm making myself sick.