candy

"i taste just like candy so dance with me." i can't get candy outta my head! ughh so annoyinggggggg!

junior retreat :):
takes forever to build a friendship, a short time to drift & less than two days to repair it? i learned more about some people in less then two days then i could since i met them. its weird to see people cry, i like it though. its ni0ce to see robots have emotions too. peoples fronts are so well played out i would have never evaa known people were hurting allz the time. crying feels good, especially if there are niggas there crying with you. you feeeeel like free. like maybe invincible to judgement? its like, i'm gunna say everything thats on my mind and i'm fucking crying about it, but i don't give a fuck because itll make me feel better fuck what you think give me a hug &i love you for listening. regardless if you are sobbing so hard that no one understands what you say (ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MEE!) words don't come out when i'm crying like they do in my mind. i bet i was going in fucking circles and just throwing up words. but whateverrrrrr. i'm glad i went.

i'm not sure if i'm the only one that feels this way - if i am then i'm the biggest asshole in the state but i don't care , i'm invincible to your (even if no one read this) thoughts. i'm cool with homegirls/homogirls again & i feels gooddd. if alla that was a front the other night, well fuck me. there isn't a beter time .. actually a better time to have fixed this was when it first started happening BUTT there is no beter time to fix relationships than now .. isnt that the saying? or no? maybe i'm making it up. BUHTTT. just in time for thanksgiving & christmas. hahha. i'm ridiculous. fuckyou.

melissa , you're a fucking angel &i'm always here to listen. don't ever for one second think that no one cares okay? i'll never pass judgement on you because you are as close to a saint of a friend that i have. minus those 105 year old nuns at the dominican center.

OMGGGG so the nuns there SUPZ cute. they all wear cardigans & hoods. its s00 tight. &they all smile & they are all supz old. aws, it made me wanna become a nun for a liddle bit. OH GAHD but the first one that i saw scared the shit outta me. so im sitting like back at the door and when i look back the fucking purest nun i've ever seen was walking behind me. i swear to god she was like glowing and wearing all white and smiling. gahddddd s00 scary. butttttttt thats weird to think about, the 105 year old nun there believes in god so much that she dedicate a majority of her 105 years on earth to spread the word of god. s0 g. s0 g.

Z0MG the beds we slept in were s0 scary i wanted to dieee most of the night. s0 s0 s0 the place we stayed looked like a fucking mental hospital. like soooothere are 4 beds in a room and there is a curtain surrounding everybed so its divided into 4 sections. every section has a bed next to the bed is a sink and a mirror CREEPY and next to the mirror theres a desk (the elmentary school type) or a rocking chair. then next to that is a waredrobe. 0MGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG supz scary and outside my window was a playground & GAHDD s0 scary ): so so so so right before i was gunna sleep someone was like I BET SOME OLD ASS NUN DIED IN YOUR BED. ahhhh! gahd i wanted to dieeee i thought about that the whole night. and the sheets were all crusty and white that i just layed on top of it. UGH and everytime i moved on the bed i could hear the coils insidee ahh ): and and and so i knocked out at like 12 cause i'm a liddle pussy and was tired of crying my face off and everyone else was awake so at like 2:00 i woke up and i didnt see melissa on her bed and could hear lourdes', trina&melissa (my roommates) voices through the wall and i got hella mad and scared i was liek WOW YOU FUCKING ASSHOLEYOU KNOW THAT I'M HELLA SCARED AND YOU STILL WENT WITHOUT ME, YOU COULDNT WAKE ME UP!? kay so then i was like sitting criss cross at the corner of my bed cause i was so cr33ped out so i texted lourdes&christopher&ashley&marc but of course none of them replied that night. ASSHOLES. so i was sitting there cr33ped the fuck out then i fell asleep some how then the next morning i found out trina and melissa were sleeping there.. no idea whose voice i heard .. so i creeped myself out for nothing. NOT TO MENTION THE MOVIE SHUTTER!!! you knoww like at the end where that pail sick azn girl is like draped over her braindead ex-lovers body? I FELT LIKE THAT. i look like that girl! and when i look in the mirror i get cr33ped out .. and there is a mirror right next to my bed.

can someone remind me how that christian song goes that has the ooooooos in it? playze&thankyou.

i typed hellza much. eye yi yi. i bet i'll post again tonight.